dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
