Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize