Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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