Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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