If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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