..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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