My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
