ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
