im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
