How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
