We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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