is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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