There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
