Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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