And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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