What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
