he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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