Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
