Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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