Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize