why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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