She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think people are normalizing furries
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
