My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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