omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
