I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
