Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
