OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
