why didn't you poke me back
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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