There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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