I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize