she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
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definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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