fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
