So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
