yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
