This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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