I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize