just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
