3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize