I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
my poor anus
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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