I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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