We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
