i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
