I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
