i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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