So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize