MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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