Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
