he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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