No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
