I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
