Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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