Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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