so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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