so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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