i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Randomize
