You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize