girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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