I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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